What to do when they come for you?

My 10 actions when my job was eliminated...

Layoff concerns are everywhere right now. I recently caught up with a friend and former colleague who was let go this past October. Our discussion reminded me of when I was laid off unexpectedly. I figured sharing my experience is worth it, even if it only helps one person.

Getting laid off sucks. I don’t wish it on anyone, even my worst enemy. It turns life upside down quickly. Sure, it can be a catalyst to better career paths, but that only comes after dealing with the inhumanity and the emotional explosion of it.

My friend was “shocked.” Demand for his services internally was at an all-time high and growing. He is a rockstar. This is why you should care. Even rockstars get kicked to the curb unceremoniously, without notice.

Like my friend, I was surprised. I got dragged into a “critical” meeting with a senior leader at 8 am one day. When I got there, the leader was with a HR person I had never met. I immediately knew I was being let go.

My brain went into defense mode. Protect yourself it sang. It started a chain reaction. Here are the ten things I did both during and following the meeting. These will not apply to every situation. (More on that below.) Nonetheless, it’s one data point if you find yourself in a similar boat.

My 10 “Actions”

I wasn’t prepared, but I figured it out as I went. In the end, I found myself in a better situation than what I was forced from. That said, getting laid off was stressful. I sought both existential and practical answers. Upon reflection, here are the actions I took after getting canned.

(1) Stayed Calm

You may be defensive. You may want to let emotion take hold immediately. You may want to lash out at the insensitive messenger because of their cold dismissal. Don’t do it. Listen. Be pleasant. Ask Why me? Understand if there is a severance.

You are gathering information at this point in time. If they are offering you a package, you are seeking to understand the details. You want to know the timing you have to accept or reject it.

(2) Told My Wife, Immediately

You may be embarrassed. You might not want to tell anyone. That’s understandable. Our society has painted those who have been let go as underperforming victims and losers. Remember, this couldn’t be further from the truth. High performers are let go all the time.

I told my wife the news immediately. She’s my most trusted confidant. She helps me process events effectively. I know people who haven’t informed their significant others for a few days or even weeks. They’ve waited for the “right time” to break the bad news.

There likely will never be a right time. One of my previous bosses once told me Good news travels fast; bad news should travel faster. He said we try to keep the bad news under wraps and fix it. Yet, in his experience the bad news becomes worse and is difficult to contain. Important people in your life eventually find out and wonder why the info was kept from them. Thus, bring someone you love or trust into the tent quickly.

(3) Released Energy

You may be angry. This is understandable. It feels like you were dumped. Nonetheless, you need to get past the acute pain of being asked to leave at some point.

I immediately embraced exercise. I went for a long bike ride the next day. While I pedaled up and bombed down hills, I released emotional steam. Anyone tailing me on the ride likely heard at least a few curse laden outbursts directed at my former company. Yet, this helped me start to move on and get past the anger.

(4) Sought Counsel

You may be confused. Lucky for me, I know a few employment attorneys and HR leaders. I figured it was best to speak with them before signing any formal paperwork. I had never been laid off before. Guidance from pros was welcomed.

In my situation, they recommended sitting on the offer and negotiating. I had a few weeks to accept. It was in the company’s best interest for me to sign the severance and take my few weeks pay.

(5) Said No, Initially

You may feel pressure. Unless you’re independently wealthy, you’ll need some basic things like money and insurance. Yet, it’s in your best interest to wait, to make them wonder. If you don’t agree, you are a wild card. Make them wonder if you have something they haven’t considered.

I waited a week. Then, I arranged a meeting with my designated HR representative. In the meeting, I graciously thanked them for the offer and asked them if they could increase the severance. I shared data on how long it would take for me to find my next gig. I asked for at least that amount of time in severance. Some told me it was a bold request. In my mind, there was nothing to lose.

(6) Didn’t Burn Bridges

You may want to be vindictive. Don’t be. You might want to share something on social media about how you’ve been wronged. Don’t do it. While your social post may go viral and garner some supportive comments from strangers, it will not be worth the fleeting dopamine injection. This does not help your case.

Instead, seek diplomatic opportunities. When I was let go, I immediately reached out to soon to be ex-coworkers I liked and respected. I said Today will be my last day with the company. I have enjoyed working with you and hope our paths will cross again. I like to believe that this will pay dividends in the long haul.

(7) Was Patient

You may be restless. Staring at no income or insurance is tough. Many people don’t have enough savings to stay unemployed for too long. Yet, waiting to accept the offer can be a good strategy, especially if the former employer appears willing to negotiate.

The HR person told me that they were unwilling to negotiate. Bummer I said politely. Yet, I didn’t give up. I decided to wait at least a few pay periods to sign the papers.

From my connects with other HR / Legal people, I knew they wanted me to sign it. I was told that typically in these situations they have your name on a tracker with your status. The closer to the twilight date on the offer, the more motivated they might become. So, I waited patiently.

(8) Reflected on Me

You may be lost. Being laid off is one of life’s disorienting moments. It’s shocking. You’re left with so many looping questions. You wonder if you could have done anything differently. Yet, if you take time you can ask yourself more existential questions like:

• Was I on the right path?

• What should my purpose be?

• What types of work should I consider now?

I was not happy in my role. I did not fit in the culture of the company. Being laid off was actually a blessing in disguise for me. Sure, I had to worry about making money to help support my family. Yet, I needed a new path.

I carved out time to reflect and did three things. First, I quietly thought for 30 minutes. I wrote down activities, ideas, subjects, goals, and jobs that came to mind. I listed people to connect with.

Second, I reviewed the psychographic career assessments I’d taken in the past. This included my STRONG^® Interest Inventory and other useful career related tools (e.g. - Myers Briggs, Enneagram, & Strengths Finder). I was looking for specific types of work I hadn’t considered in the past.

Last, I identified which activities, ideas, etc. I wanted to explore as work opportunities and which ones I wanted to be hobbies. Together, this helped me set focus for where to go next.

(9) Networked

You may feel on your own. Most people are far too reliant on work connections. In the United States, it isn’t uncommon to work a lot and to minimize social connections outside of the workplace. Thus, when we get let go, it can cause a bigger crisis: we no longer are connecting with our “friends” daily.

I used the opportunity to reconnect with trusted confidants. A career counselor once told me that you should have five informational interviews per week when you are out of work. I filled up my calendar with coffees, lunches, and beers. I met in person and virtually. This served two purposes. I was able to explore my reflections. I was also able to get the word out that I was looking for a gig.

(10) Committed to Projects

You may be energized. Once you’ve gotten past the sadness, frustration, anger, confusion, and other likely emotions, you’ll catch a spark. Days will be brighter. You’ll catch a joie de vivre that might not have existed pre-dismissal. I certainly did.

I committed to a few projects to build skills. I focused on becoming a better marketer. I focused on improving my writing skills. I got certified in new spaces. This not only passed the time, but it made me a better candidate for the work I would eventually do.

You Will Be Unprepared

You cannot completely prepare for getting terminated. You can find another job if the writing is on the wall. That’s tough, unless you have some magic crystal ball.

Did you know…40% of people will be laid off at least once in their lifetime by some measures. I believe this number is likely to rise. I will not be surprised if this number increases to 50% maybe even 60% in the next two or three decades. Loyalty appears to be gone.

In the end, I was able to increase my severance package. It took a few months. I had to dip into my personal cash savings. Yet, I bought more of a lifeline between gigs for me and my family. Plus, I stayed on good terms with my former employer.

But, You Must Prepare

So what? The best thing to do is prepare for the worst and hope for the best. Embrace a career prepping methodology. This means keeping your network active. It means continuously inventorying and exploring new interests. It means having a trusted network of confidants to give you counsel and help point you in the right direction.

It does not mean to apply to every job blindly with the LinkedIn Easy Apply button. It does not mean focusing solely on your resume. I applied to jobs on LinkedIn. I updated my resume. Yet, I did these things sparingly. My network was the path to next. It delivered.

Special Note

Please do not take my experience as gospel. Do your homework. Read up on what to do when you get laid off. Consider this article one data point that might apply to your situation. Each situation is vastly different from another.

In my case, the layoffs were very limited. My company eliminated less than 100 roles. From my understanding, the laid off employee has a better chance to negotiate a better deal when the number of people let go is low. If you are 1 of 10,000, the likelihood of negotiating a better severance is low.

Thanks for reading!

Paul G. Fisher